One Day You Will:)

     This last month has been a whirl wind that included trip after trip to the city for expansion, expansion, expansion. I am AMAZED at how much my skin has stretched soooooo......AMAZING!!!! I am soooo happy. Dr. Rast has asked me with every expansion "Have you tried on any bras?". The answer was always no, no, no. I, quite frankly, was too tired, sore, and poor to think about a bra purchase. So, each week I kept saying.....BIGGER, BIGGER, BIGGER....and now I am thinking WHOA! What the heck happened in my shirt? LOL! I am sure when the tissue expanders get exchanged for the implants they will not be so prominent but now they are WOW. Radiation also kind of has a tendency to shrink the skin and make it less pliable so I am glad I over expanded but for now kinda think these make me look well....cartoon like:( LOL! I do not know how Dolly does it, but she MUST fall into bed at night and say AHHHHH, that's better.

   For those that are curious what the expansion process looks like....well.....imagine going from flat as a ironing board as I was in this photo below after mastectomy and again now after expansion. WOW, what a difference a month makes..

 It was HUGELY painful!!!! Thank you Miss.Valium for your relief of the muscle spasms, YOU ROCK!!!!!!! The x is just a marking spot until the expander settles, it will be tattooed also like the other 3 spots on my ivory body. They are tiny, but still I hated to get them. They are small though compared to the scars across each breast as you can see in the photo....they will fade with time and silicone scar tape, but still are there to remind me of the road I have been on FOREVER! And you know what.....that's okay. It has made me STRONG!!!!!

     Anyway....now on to rads that take me to and fro everyday Monday through Friday to Springfield from Lebanon. You are also SUCKY! Your buzzing GIANT machines whirling around me with your bright red lights crossing my chest and arm pit like an intersection....YOU SUCK! You, however, are also one of the tools that God is using to heal my body from the dreaded breast cancer that tried to steal my life. Thank you!!!!!!!! Thank you to all the sweet techs that give me heated blankets as I lay on that hard table with arms above my head, my head that is cocked to the side to keep my throat from getting sore from the radiation and wedge under my knees, feet strapped down. UGH!!!! Oh and don't forget to use gated breathing as the x-rays and treatments are done so you have even less lung exposure. I am on day 2 of 33 treatments that should end on or around my 36th birthday depending on skin integrity, weather conditions, acts of God and anything else that might keep me from getting to the Cashew Chicken Capital of the WORLD:) BTW, 35 year old single mothers of three children should NOT get cancer!!!!!!!

  

     Dear God,  Again I come to you with a thankful heart that only longs to edify and serve you. I hope that this experience that the satan meant for harm, you turn for good in me for you, myself and for my children. I want to raise them and see my grandchildren someday. Please let my story, my experience...painful, happy, sad, crazy experience help some one else, some where, some day.:)To you be ALL of the Praise and Glory.  AMEN!

This song was given to me by a friend and it has been an encouragement through this journey.....some days were and still are rough but I know that "One Day I Will" :)  Love you Kimmy:)

http://youtu.be/EY2Yct8LjOo