Afro's are still "in", right?

   Well it is official... for YEARS saying I wish I was black because I would always be tan and have a new hair do every day with wigs and weaves, I now have the start of what seems to be an Afro. Please do not write me and say that is racist cuz I am TOTALLY serious. My motto in my twenties was you can never be too thin or too tan....and hair has always been my "thing". So...no racism here. I hated losing my hair during chemo, probably one of the most dehumanizing things about the cancer...well and the whole no boobs thing. BUT...it gave me the opportunity to have a different hair do every day if I wanted. I have had five wigs and loved them all. I am still wearing them in fact because my hair is about 3/4 inches long and although has been manicured and colored it is still just too short for me, I feel anyway. But after moving today in 90 degree weather I have to ask...when should I debut the new do...I mean Afro? It is VERY wavy, not kinky or a TRUE Afro but coming from a girl with stick straight hair this gray, wavy mix was a HUGE slap in the face after having cancer.
     In fact, after cancer I think you should never have to worry about a recurrence and should wake up everyday looking like Carmen Electra and feeling like Wonder woman, but unfortunately that isn't the way it works. I am thankful and grateful for waking up at all after cancer and I am more aware than ever that everyday is a precious and a gift from God. I just wish that sometimes I could go back to the old H....:( The one that could hold her baby on her hip for hours without pain from the new equipment. The old Heather that could go and go and go without tiring. The old Heather that had confidence in her self and knew that any criticism was just others insecurities and not her own, knowing that cancer didn't make me "damaged goods". Ohhhh...pitty party.... OVER....Cancer gave me a new lease on life and I am just in a rough patch and this too shall pass. RIGHT? Yes of course:) God did not give me his word that this would be my testimony to share with others only to leave me with some lack luster life. ALL things in ABUNDANCE. That is what I am seeking. In fact I am being very specific with God about my needs and desires. I know that the Bible says ask and you shall receive....well I am asking and going to receive.
  Dear God, please give me a long and full life filled with my children and lots of happiness serving others and you. If it is your will for me to have a husband then send me one....I loved being married. I am a good wife and deserve a good husband. I also would like a new car as mine has 186,000 miles on it and now needs a new tyrod end, whatever that means but gotta fix that tomorrow too. I would like a new Tahoe or Suburban to carry all of my kiddos around, preferably in black. I also would like to find a job when I get settled that helps other and fulfills me as much as just being a mom, as right now I NEED to work. Also Jesus, I REALLY need some clarification on the tattoo verse in Leviticus...cuz I REALLY want one and have never had one before in all of my 35 years. It is a Bible verse and I would like to know about that one sooner than later cuz I am kinda in KC now and will be going home soon and would like to get it while I am here. BTW, please forgive me for all of the thoughts, actions and words I have been passing around over the last few weeks, I am ashamed, but God....you know he knows what buttons to push, and I'm sure he would say the same of me. Anyway...I am still so immature in you. I make the right decisions more than 75 percent of the time but there are those times when pushed in a corner that I fall and when I do it is usually BIG. Forgive me and help me be a better person that I might be an example of what to do instead of what NOT to do. Amen.
    On a lighter note...I have had 2 more fills since surgery. One of 25ccs the week after waking up from surgery with 300 and then last week I had another 100ccs for a grand total of 425ccs on my way to 550cc or 600. I am shooting for a 650 implant with exchange this fall after my skin heals from radiation. I have to say at this point they are doing the job stretching the skin but hardly look like the final reveal. I referred to them as hamburger buns and Dr. Rast said "I have never heard them called that, UNTIL TODAY". LOL! I have one of the BEST plastic surgeons in KC Dr.Rast at Associated Plastic Surgeons. He is the BOMB! I go back on Tuesday for another fill and I have an appointment to get my Leupron injection while I am here. I have transferred all of my dr's to southwest Mo where I am moving, due to the family support I have there in my mom and grandma. I will however have a few more appts up here in the upcoming weeks and then after rads the exchange surgery from IRON BRA to squishy boobies:) I can't wait. Again, thank you all for your love and support and thank you Jesus Christ my Strong tower, teach me to look to you for shelter from the storms of life.


Strong tower by Kutless.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45y3gX2szKg