As each day after diagnosis began to pass I realized that along with everything in this life...."This too would pass". Before each leg of the race I would visualize myself on the next step....the next surgery, the next chemo treatment, the next radiation appointment, it helped me deal with all the emotions that go along with a life threatening illness. It helped me propel myself forward. I spent my days fantasizing about the days past active treatment and how AWESOME it would be to have some sense of normalcy back in my life. It seemed at times like a pipe dream, that that day would never come. The triathlon that NEVER ENDS, but it did.
When I think back on those times I thought were so bad, and they were BAD, I have to be thankful. Thankful for each day that God had given me past that dreadful day in July, thankful for the time I spent "waiting" for the day it would be DONE! I was "waiting" all the while drawing close to HIM, leaning on HIM and HIS promises. God does things in HIS timing, not Heather's by the way. That would be way too easy and would never have brought the changes in me that have manifested. I am STILL a work in progress and He is still working on me but I am soooo GOOD, and HE is SO GOOD!!!
As my hair fell out in clumps and my reflection in the mirror became less and less "feminine" in my eyes, I began to crumble. I was taken down to "ROCK BOTTOM" for me. Physically I felt weak, winded, bald and bloated, but mentally I grew stronger and stronger. It was a metamorphosis of sort. As chemo treatments neared the end I began to regain my hair and my strength, I began to feel like a flower about to bloom again in the spring....a FIREWORK about to burst! I was seeing the light at the end of a LONG, dark tunnel. Reconstruction began and radiation followed. It was painful with the rapid expansion, but radiation flew by and I longed to DO SOMETHING!
One year and eight days after the hardest day of my life here I am. So, what Satan set out to do...steal, kill and destroy.... backfired in a HUGE WAY! Not only am I on track in my own walk with Christ I am helping others navigate through this difficult diagnosis. Praise GOD!!! I have also went back to work and absolutely LOVE IT! I LOVE my residents, my staff and co- workers. I wake up every morning with purpose and fall(LITERALLY) into bed at night, feeling that I am changing the world, one hug, cup of coffee, smile at a time. I love my JOB!! I am exploding back into normalcy fast and furious with purpose, meaning and thanks for each day I am given to LOVE my family, kids and others.
My name is Heather and I am a FIREWORK!!!!
