Victoria's BIG Secret !!!!

      Well, after many months adjusting to the new DD's I finally made an attempt to buy my first bra with the expanders in. Yes, I have been going braless. I know wierd, but without nipples or sag issues what is the point, RIGHT?  I headed to Victoria Secret (reluctantly) as I dreaded the measure, questions and countless parade of "helpers" coming in and out of the dressing room. I was going to be a challenge with one wooden boob, thanks to the radiation and another that is also less than perfect.UGH! Now I remember why I hadn't done this sooner. I measured at 34 DD, which was NOT what I wanted to hear. DD...maybe but the 34 circumferance meant that I have gained weight and now measure a whole inch larger than before surgery. UGH! The weight issue has bothered me for a while and although I am not FAT, I am "CURVY" :) LOL! Curvy.....never been called curvy before breast cancer. Now, I will just stick to "boobilicious". Thank you, Dorinda:)

   Anyway, I did the box of house bras and found a fit or two, so I pick one....with underwire, for what I am unsure. I think just because I have always worn underwire. So, she gives me a 10 dollar off coupon and I am set. I get to the check out to pay, check the size and BOOM, she got me the WRONG size. Go back to the drawer and they don't have it in the color I wanted, and NO you can't use your 10 dollar off coupon online. SUCKY! So, long story short....Victoria's Secret is that she SUCKS!!!!

     Anywho,  I am about to be released to quarterly oncologist visits and am moving right along in my survivorship. Please continue to pray for me that I may continue to excell and remain healthy. I am working hard on diet and getting back into an exercise regimine. Please pray for me in that area also, I NEED IT!

   On a much, much lighter note, I am so happy and so blessed. I have been surrounded by the most wonderful, beautiful people over the last few months and have found myself again. I feel happy and whole.  God has been so good to me. He has revealed His plans and purpose for me. He has given me a message and voice to help others. He has blessed me with the most beautiful life I could have ever imagined. I am amazed by the plans and purpose he has for my life and so thankful for his blessings. Praise you JESUS for you are so GOOD!

God's been good to me............http://youtu.be/XnEr0Y8YpfY

I WILL RISE OUT OF THESE ASHES

       I Trust in Jesus, My great Deliverer, My strong Defender, The Son of God, I trust in Jesus, Blessed Redeemer, My Lord forever, The Holy One, the Holy One. That pretty much sums up who I am and what I attain to be. I still fall on my face almost daily, but I want to be counted as a person that only TRUSTS in JESUS and doesn't have to defend, manipulate, convince others about her character or past sins. I need say NOTHING! I had been doing very well with that notion until I found out that I was being attacked through facebook,  phone and text messages, by a person and his family that used to be the center of my life. It is hurtful, and hard to listen to others attack you and try to portray you as a bad mother, friend, wife, or person, but I cannot control it.
      So, much of the time I have been spending with God has been a conversation of his blessings, healing and guidance in my life. NOT about his ability to protect, provide a hedge around me and my children, and to DEFEND me. I need NOT defend myself against an attack from another person I need to trust God as I have with every other thing in my life. I need to let him protect, defend and deliver me from the false accusations. A friend said...."the people who REALLY know you, know that what is being said is untrue". I said, "but what about all the others that don't know me or haven't known me in years, what will they believe?" It hurt, but it's okay. I will be okay and I will RISE from these ashes, because through CHRIST I can do ALL things and he is the one that will DEFEND me,  not me, not my family , not my friends. He that is in me, he will protect me.
     I have been reading Job for a few months and the repetitive cries out for God to defend him through the book seem monotonous. But my choice of Job months back to begin studying was no accident. I am not a perfect person, I have made and continue to make mistakes but I am a good mother, friend, wife and christian. God does hear my prayers contrary to what I have been told by others. I am also not "damaged goods", "worthless" or "cancer ridden". And believe it or not I do deserve to care for my children despite the fact I HAD cancer. I am a newly born, healed, child of the all mighty God  and I will RISE out of these ashes.

http://youtu.be/UGw8EjkFP18