The ZONE

The month of July has significance due to the fact that it was two years ago this month that I was diagnosed. I am amazed that it has only been two years since that day. It would seem that I have lived two lifetimes since then, in fact I have. Before that day I was a selfish person that didn't always look outside of herself or immediate family for anything. Actually I had a false sense of security and very much lived in a fantasy world. I gave to my church, I helped others when asked, I took care of my own and that was REALLY it. Everything I felt I needed, I had at home in my children and family. I was way too comfortable and frankly just a fan of Jesus Christ, not a follower. That day two years ago in July when I got the dreaded phone call no one wants to get my life changed, turned upside down, shook up and spinning out of control or so I thought. I know that there will be some backlash from other survivors that feel that their life before cancer was superior to now with the effects of treatment, financial impact, family and relationship issues that manifest BUT my life is SO much better now than before cancer. Yes, menopause sucks, the surgeries and foobs suck, the medications and side effects suck! But I am alive! I am thankful and as crazy as it sounds I am thankful for the storm that was cancer. It changed my life! I wasn't really living the width of my life, only the path to the end. I needed to be shook up, I needed to look outside myself, my home, my community, my little world. Cancer was rough, but living the rest of my life comfortable and without that storm would have been a tragedy. I know that God has been growing me up really fast through this experience and the ones that followed. I can feel the call on my life become greater with each step and each obstacle. If I am obedient the first round we move forward, if I am dragging my feet, kicking and screaming we stand still. This is the rythm of my life and walk as a follower of Jesus Christ, all brought to you by cancer. Please don't mistake my candidness as an endorsement of cancer, in fact, I HATE cancer and what it does to the body as well as the spirit of all that it touches. I do know that it doesn't have to, as non compassionate as this sounds it is a choice. The choice occurs from the moment everything comes back into focus and the "I have cancer" fog lifts. Dr.Lehr referred to it as "The Zone". I haven't given him the credit or maybe even told him in much detail how powerful his words were, but now is as good a time as any. Dr.Lehr began treating me immediately after we received the mammogram results without a payor source, I had no insurance at the time. He was young and compassionate, had a wonderful team that included his wife, a nurse and father in law as partner. Anyway, we did the biopsy that confirmed the cancer, we immediately did the lumpectomy and node discetion that revealed cancer had invaded the lympnode x3. Until that day I thought Dr.Lehr was a great doc, but until we are about to head into the FIRST surgery of my life, he asked if he could pray....Now, he was a follower of Christ. I was in the right place! I also want to say that I had not REALLY accepted it, until they wheeled me down that day. In my already groggy state I saw the nurse carrying the clipboard with my name with the diagnosis of L breast cancer. Wow, how could I have cancer? I woke to Dr.Lehr explaining the findings, he said it was a golf ball size tumor and he cut wayyyyy around it to ensure clear margins, which he did. But he also said to me....." You don't have cancer anymore, I cut it out of you". I have stood on that since that day. Those words came from the GREAT physician via my physician. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Dr. Lehr, thank you for being you:) Love you guys! After the confirmation of lymphnode involvement chemo was a must, not an option. We came back to the drawing board and I knew I wanted to do the double mastectomy. He asked when I said ASAP. He said lets do it Monday I think this was a Thursday or Friday even....he said "Let's do this, your in the zone". Yes I was. I have been in the "zone" since. Kicking cancer out and never looking back! Praise God! I want every survivor of breast, as well as other cancers, ailments and just tough circumstances to do the same. This philisophy is what Team Pink Princess is all about. Cancer touched my life and that is it! It is done, it is finished. I don't have to keep dwelling on it, thinking about it, worrying about if it will come back. One, I am standing on the promise and power of the cross for divine healing that lasts forever. Two, I cannot add one day or minute or second to my life by worrying about it, in fact it is really bad for me! So, what to do?! I'll tell you what....believe God for my socks, let the love of Christ flow through me and my life that it might be pleasing to Him AND never look back. The Bible says in Joshua 1:2 "Moses my servant is dead, now then You and all these people get ready to cross the Jordan River." God wants us to keep our eyes fixed on him, not our circumstances, obstacles or our past, no matter how hard or painful it may be. Whether it is sin, disease, rough times the death of a loved one whatever it is, we MUST keep moving forward! We cannot get stuck in the past, the disease, the junk of this world. We must keep our gaze upon Him and eternity. We must live our life in "The Zone".