I usually always write about deep feelings and subjects that have been happening in my life since cancer and tonight is no exception. Tonight I am feeling A LOT better about my life and the direction it is heading. I am a child of the KING, even when circumstances seem bleak, desolate, destitute, I am blessed and favored. I am also HUMAN and fall prey to the worries, wonders and what if''s and last week I was REALLY struggling. I hadn't found a job or decided what I was doing with my personal life. My whole life got JACKED! But this is a NEW week and I have been dealt and created much worse circumstances than this and GUESS WHAT? I am still here. Cancer didn't kill me and neither will this. I have a purpose and call on my life to help others and no circumstance, problem, issue is going to get in the way. God just keeps opening doors for me and I go in and jump out the window. WHO does that? I have been so misguided and so foolish! No more!!!!
I landed a job this last week as the Marketing Director for a long term care facility, praise God! I have been praying so hard for another opportunity to serve others and make some bank! I have been struggling financially and worrying about my insurance situation as I cannot go one day without coverage. My new job not only exceeds my financial expectations by tens of thousands it has excellent insurance. I am soooo blessed.
I had THE BEST day today with my daughter. Sierra Denae Angst.....the MOST beautiful girl in the world. We went shopping and out to lunch, it was amazing. Who says retail therapy is a fallacy? It is real girls! We laughed and cried about cancer, boys, collage and Christ. I needed her so much! I feel like my old self again, before cancer, before the BULL! It was GREAT! It was the perfect Christmas gift. She has been God's gift to me more than once and today I am blessed. Merry Christmas to me.
Sierra and I tried on clothes, shoes, dresses for New Years. It was a blast. She complimented me by saying to someone "My mom is such a FOX". I laughed, but it felt good to be called a FOX. My self esteem had been fractured, broken and hurt by certain circumstances and cancer, but NO MORE! I am sexy and I know it! Last year at Christmas and New Years I was bald, with a concave chest with scars that reached almost entirely across it. This year although I am still wearing my wigs I do have hair and I do have foobs. I can get dressed up in a cute dress even if I have to dab a little concealer on my scars:) At midnight I will KISS this year goodbye and thank God for another.
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