My mess, HIS message.





New Years 2011





      I have to start this post by saying GOD is soooo AWESOME!!!! I was concerned about my blood count last week as they continued to dive, but as prayers from the saints went up and GOD'S healing hand intervened, things changed. I had a white blood cell count of 4.1 today....one tenth over a low" NORMAL."  PRAISE YOU GOD, for you are my healer and my strength. I give you ALL the glory and praise!!!!!  However, I am far from normal, as my dad said today:)
    As I sat today talking with my favorite chemo nurse April, I shared some of the feelings I had been having about who I had become as a result of this disease. I explained to her that I don't want to be referred to as the girl that had cancer for the rest of my life, I am so much more than cancer. I was told in the beginning of this journey by my sweet friend Dara, " Don't let this define you". That was GREAT advice, thank you love. I never knew that a friendship I had twenty something years ago would come again and that her words would be so powerful in this walk :) I have been approached by another friend Rafael to help him with a local cancer fundraiser called SHAVE TO SAVE in May, I feel honored that he would want me to be a part of it. But I have to say I will NOT be the one shaving my head for this one, I should have AT LEAST Halle Berry hair by then;-)
    All joking aside, I am making "MY MESS" into" HIS MESSAGE", I do not want to be the girl that just survived cancer, but I do want to be an advocate for finding a cure, supporting other young women going through this dreaded disease in some way. Most of all I want to be the girl that isn't just a breast cancer survivor, I want to be a testimony to the power of  GOD ALMIGHTY,  KING OF EVERYTHING.  I want to tell others what he has done in my life, I am changed by this experience, I am forever changed. When GOD spoke to me last fall and told me "This is your testimony and you are going to tell it to LOTS of other women", I had no idea what testimony. A testimony of mistakes I have made and how he was changing my heart and life, was I no different than every other sinner ? What did I have to offer someone else? Who would want to know about my past and all the things I had done and was ashamed of ? What GOD what do you want me to tell them ? I didn't know until I was diagnosed in July and within an hour, on the toilet, as I cried in devastation there HE was again telling me the same thing word for word.
     For those that are either non believers or those that have never had a personal relationship with Christ you may doubt that GOD has the time to speak to you personally, but HE does. I am living proof that he does and he will and if you let HIM in and you seek HIM, read HIS word and fill your mind with HIM, HE will change your life as HE has mine. I am far from perfect and am and will be a work in progress, just like the children's church song....HE's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. So, maybe you won't be as "lucky" as me to have trial by fire with a cancer diagnosis, but I have to say that even without  that desperation you too will find him, all you have to do is ask.
Check out this video, this is my life song........I hope it touches your heart.
Love, H
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee1-qHCmDUQ