I WILL RISE OUT OF THESE ASHES

       I Trust in Jesus, My great Deliverer, My strong Defender, The Son of God, I trust in Jesus, Blessed Redeemer, My Lord forever, The Holy One, the Holy One. That pretty much sums up who I am and what I attain to be. I still fall on my face almost daily, but I want to be counted as a person that only TRUSTS in JESUS and doesn't have to defend, manipulate, convince others about her character or past sins. I need say NOTHING! I had been doing very well with that notion until I found out that I was being attacked through facebook,  phone and text messages, by a person and his family that used to be the center of my life. It is hurtful, and hard to listen to others attack you and try to portray you as a bad mother, friend, wife, or person, but I cannot control it.
      So, much of the time I have been spending with God has been a conversation of his blessings, healing and guidance in my life. NOT about his ability to protect, provide a hedge around me and my children, and to DEFEND me. I need NOT defend myself against an attack from another person I need to trust God as I have with every other thing in my life. I need to let him protect, defend and deliver me from the false accusations. A friend said...."the people who REALLY know you, know that what is being said is untrue". I said, "but what about all the others that don't know me or haven't known me in years, what will they believe?" It hurt, but it's okay. I will be okay and I will RISE from these ashes, because through CHRIST I can do ALL things and he is the one that will DEFEND me,  not me, not my family , not my friends. He that is in me, he will protect me.
     I have been reading Job for a few months and the repetitive cries out for God to defend him through the book seem monotonous. But my choice of Job months back to begin studying was no accident. I am not a perfect person, I have made and continue to make mistakes but I am a good mother, friend, wife and christian. God does hear my prayers contrary to what I have been told by others. I am also not "damaged goods", "worthless" or "cancer ridden". And believe it or not I do deserve to care for my children despite the fact I HAD cancer. I am a newly born, healed, child of the all mighty God  and I will RISE out of these ashes.

http://youtu.be/UGw8EjkFP18