Child like faith, with a dash of spiritual maturity ♥

       There is much to be said about having a child like faith, it is very difficult to do as an adult with such a bright, logical and analytical mind. I have known Jesus since I was about 6 years old, but I have strayed from my faith since then. I also have never fully matured as a christian due to the unwillingness to serve God with all my heart and to pursue a sin free life. I would get on fire for God and lose momentum or passion due to the inability to GIVE him my life, I was too busy controlling my own life and every one in it to allow that. NOT very spiritual, huh? BUT It is the truth.
     I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago and she also had been facing physical obstacles like me and her situation was more complicated, she has been a christian longer than I have been alive. She confessed that she doubting her faith and God's promises, she even stopped praying. My heart broke as we spoke. I knew that she was under spiritual attack and needed God more now than ever and I told her that. It is very hard to be disconnect from your church family when you are sick especially as baby christian like me, but she was no baby christian. She has been praying and reading her bible again and has taken back what the devil tried to steal from her, but it is easy to listen to all of the "what if 's" in this journey, it is human but certainly not spiritual.
     Every time the "what if 's" creep in I go straight to my knees now or I run to the word and the fear begins to dissipate.That is something the old Heather would NOT have tried as a first resort, that would have been after days or even weeks of trying to figure it out myself and of course discussing it with with others, all not cool. I began to realize that I had matured since last check and that although my own walk had not been everything God had planned for me, it still can be. AND that I have since day one of this diagnosis relied on ALL of the promises of God, when I read his word I take it literally and apply it to my life and to my situation, without that childlike belief in a best friend that I can't see or touch I may too have doubted the promises.
     I have missed many opportunities that God had for me in my life I am quite sure due to my disobedience, but maybe all of those failures have left me stranded in the wilderness wondering for 35 years for a purpose, for a moment just as this. A moment that I needed God and him alone, no person could fix it for me and I certainly couldn't. If I was going to beat this, it was only his will I had no control. In that I began a relationship with Christ that I can only say is deep, full and mature, I am sure on some days he still may dispute that, but I am on my way. Praise God!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwsvqVmFV6Y